This morning I was cleaning out some old file folders and found a folder marked "Parenting Tips" with some notes I jotted down from a radio interview and discussion panel on parenting. I honestly don't remember the radio show or source but I thought they were important enough to write down at the time and rediscovering them again today I think they might be worth sharing with other parents out there. 
Ephesians 6:4 encourages us with this: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Another translation says, "do not provoke your children to anger". Seems like a no brainer doesn't it ? And yet I know in my adventures in parenting I've been guilty of doing just that. I think that's why I must have taken the time to take these notes when I heard that radio interview. I hope these will be an encouragement to you too.

8 Ways to Exasperate Your Kids:

1. Failing to allow them to be what they are.
2. Treating them with harshness or cruelty.
3. Ridiculing them in front of others. Especially in front of their peers. (Even when disguised as teasing or jesting.)
4. Displaying favoritism and making unhealthy or unproductive comparisons.
5. Failing to express our approval, even at seemingly small accomplishments.
6. Being arbitrary in the exercise of discipline, so they don't know where they stand.
7. Neglecting and making them feel like an intrusion in your life.
8. Seeking to make them achieve our goals and aspirations.

I'm sure, like me, as you read these bullet points you'll begin unpacking each one and considering how they may relate to your parenting style and relationship with your children. Someone once told me "we tend to parent the way we were parented". I think that's true for the most part. What's also true is that our parents were not perfect, in fact some may have been down right bad at it. So it makes sense for us to look out for those things that may creep into our parenting style that we may not even be aware of until it's too late and some damage is done. These eight points have been good ones for me to keep in mind as I've been trying to be a good Dad to my kids. Keep up the good work... and remember, you're a better parent than you think you are.

Are you feeling frustrated with the results you're getting in correcting and disciplining your children? I'm sure you've heard the old adage, you get more flies with honey? I think this is so true and when it comes to correcting and disciplining our children I think it would serve us all well to remember this. 
I was surprised to see in my own adventures in parenting how easy and often it was for me to be critical of my children rather than complimentary or positive in my comments. It's not how I wanted to be toward my kids, in fact I wanted to be exactly the opposite, encouraging them, always building them up. When my kids were young there were so many areas where they would be doing great. But I would often be quicker to see those situations where they might be striking out rather than when they were hitting it out of the park. When I realized this I decided I was going to try my best to think of at least two positive or encouraging comments I could offer my kids with every critical comment I was about to give. It took some time for me to break the old habit of simply firing off a critical comment without also offering something encouraging and positive. It required me to stop and think before I spoke. I needed to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry".
As I began focusing on seeing and commenting on those things they were doing well the results were really amazing, not only did my kids respond better to the correction or discipline I was offering but I discovered I was finding less to correct them about. It was really working something in me and in them! So does that mean I never missed a chance to compliment my kids or never again corrected them without also giving them a positive comment as well? No, I still reacted in the moment and spoke without thinking at times but not as often and many times I would go back after the fact and correct that by adding those encouraging words as well. Words are powerful and will always leave of a mark of some kind. It's important for us as parents to understand this and to be thoughtful and purposeful in the words we choose to use with our children. Using honey instead of vinegar always attracts more flies or in this case better results in correction and discipline.
I hope these thoughts are helpful and encouraging for you and also a good resource I would like to recommend is The 5 Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.