Do you ever have those days, like me, when you wonder if what you’re working at really matters?
Sometimes I find myself drifting into the weeds, making it difficult to see the path. And in those times of self-doubt, I wonder if what I’m doing is still connecting with families and is helpful and encouraging.

Well, I was recently knocked out by a story that my friend from Lakeside, Bev, shared with me. And she’s happily given me permission to share that story with you, my friends. I hope this will inspire you as much as it does me every time I think of it. I’ll just say though, before we go any further, you may want to have a tissue or two handy. You’ve been warned!

Bev’s story arrived in the form of a letter that came at a time when I was drifting a bit into those weed and trying to find my way back to the path.

Bev had recently lost her partner, Joan, to illness. She begins with, “I want to share a story with you
about Joan.” She goes on to say that Joan remained home during her illness with the help of family and Hospice. They had her comfortably set up in the dining room needing the extra space for the equipment needed for her care.

This was a good location because it had two large windows on one wall and was a central part of the
house. Bev says, “Joan was actually mostly content. She enjoyed eating sweets… a lot! And she enjoyed being in the sunlight.”

They would often move Joan’s wheelchair to sit outside in the afternoon sun and to hear the birds sing.
Many times, she stayed there until she heard the crickets.
​

​Bev goes on to say, and these are her words, “Then there came a time when it was simply too uncomfortable for her to be in her chair. I noticed one day where the sun came in those back windows during the afternoon. I took note of the sun's path and the next afternoon, pulled and pushed her bed until I was sure the sun would hit her face as it went down. Then I got the wild idea to grab my phone and find your rendition of ‘Here Comes the Sun’ from my playlist. I started the music, and the sun began to creep forward, and as it hit her face, she started singing. Make no mistake, Joan was not the type to break out in song. However, she was on a bit of morphine and the moment was ELECTRIC! She was singing at the top of her voice and saying to me ‘SING!’ So, we sang until the sun passed and she was spent. We did this often during those last days of her life. It was a time of peace for her and me. I'll never forget it and wanted to share this memory with you." Oh my... isn't that powerful? I'm touched by it all over again. But also, wow! What a blessing to hear and know that what you’re offering is being received in ways like that! And what a gift from Bev sharing this memory with me... with us.

I hope you’re as encouraged as I am by this. Let's keep doing the little things, keep showing up with our gift, whatever it is, and release it into the world. I believe we can trust the Creator of every good a perfect gift (James 1:17) and as we hold them loosely and release them freely watch become so much more than you could ever imagine, ask, or think (Eph. 3:20).

Let's lean into this Great Mystery, this Super Power of Love that holds us and knits us together in the most unexpected and remarkable ways. Let your brightness shine because you and I were Designed to Shine and we all carry something powerful inside that the world needs today. Let’s get out there and keep using these Super Powers!

Hey there, Friends –

I hope this post finds you someplace warm and cozy. It's been a really snowy and cold January-February here in Northeast Ohio. I'm here in my studio this morning bright and early to spend a little time sitting, listening, reading and hopefully coming up with some encouraging thoughts and ideas for you.

I have a brand new team of very talented and inspiring friends who are encouraging, advising and helping me gather, focus, clarify and communicate more effectively with the folks who are connecting with me.

I'm really excited about the things we are cooking up and I can't wait to tell you more. That is the reason for this post... just to let you know you can be expecting more content coming from me on a regular basis. This blog has been pretty quiet and fairly underutilized and that's a shame.
 
Part of my own personal daily practice is journaling. With encouragement from my friends, aka the "Renegade Marketing Team," I've been going through some of my journals looking for entries to share that I hope will be encouraging and inspire some thoughtful, helpful conversations. If ever there was a time for "thoughtful, helpful conversations"... this sure feels like that time.

I'm just going to try to be faithful and keep showing up here with some creative thoughts and ideas to offer that I hope will be helpful in the Journey. Thank you for joining me. I'm looking forward to traveling along together, sharing the load as we share the road.
 
You know what they say, it's not about the destination, it's all about the journey. The process of getting there is where the action is. Where the rubber meets the road. That's where all of the unexpected and most exciting things are going to show up. It's in the little things, the details, the nitty gritty parts of life where God shows up in the most real and powerful ways and yet remains incognito most of the time. The joy comes in noticing when God is there.

This morning I was cleaning out some old file folders and found a folder marked "Parenting Tips" with some notes I jotted down from a radio interview and discussion panel on parenting. I honestly don't remember the radio show or source but I thought they were important enough to write down at the time and rediscovering them again today I think they might be worth sharing with other parents out there. 
Ephesians 6:4 encourages us with this: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Another translation says, "do not provoke your children to anger". Seems like a no brainer doesn't it ? And yet I know in my adventures in parenting I've been guilty of doing just that. I think that's why I must have taken the time to take these notes when I heard that radio interview. I hope these will be an encouragement to you too.

8 Ways to Exasperate Your Kids:

1. Failing to allow them to be what they are.
2. Treating them with harshness or cruelty.
3. Ridiculing them in front of others. Especially in front of their peers. (Even when disguised as teasing or jesting.)
4. Displaying favoritism and making unhealthy or unproductive comparisons.
5. Failing to express our approval, even at seemingly small accomplishments.
6. Being arbitrary in the exercise of discipline, so they don't know where they stand.
7. Neglecting and making them feel like an intrusion in your life.
8. Seeking to make them achieve our goals and aspirations.

I'm sure, like me, as you read these bullet points you'll begin unpacking each one and considering how they may relate to your parenting style and relationship with your children. Someone once told me "we tend to parent the way we were parented". I think that's true for the most part. What's also true is that our parents were not perfect, in fact some may have been down right bad at it. So it makes sense for us to look out for those things that may creep into our parenting style that we may not even be aware of until it's too late and some damage is done. These eight points have been good ones for me to keep in mind as I've been trying to be a good Dad to my kids. Keep up the good work... and remember, you're a better parent than you think you are.

Are you feeling frustrated with the results you're getting in correcting and disciplining your children? I'm sure you've heard the old adage, you get more flies with honey? I think this is so true and when it comes to correcting and disciplining our children I think it would serve us all well to remember this. 
I was surprised to see in my own adventures in parenting how easy and often it was for me to be critical of my children rather than complimentary or positive in my comments. It's not how I wanted to be toward my kids, in fact I wanted to be exactly the opposite, encouraging them, always building them up. When my kids were young there were so many areas where they would be doing great. But I would often be quicker to see those situations where they might be striking out rather than when they were hitting it out of the park. When I realized this I decided I was going to try my best to think of at least two positive or encouraging comments I could offer my kids with every critical comment I was about to give. It took some time for me to break the old habit of simply firing off a critical comment without also offering something encouraging and positive. It required me to stop and think before I spoke. I needed to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry".
As I began focusing on seeing and commenting on those things they were doing well the results were really amazing, not only did my kids respond better to the correction or discipline I was offering but I discovered I was finding less to correct them about. It was really working something in me and in them! So does that mean I never missed a chance to compliment my kids or never again corrected them without also giving them a positive comment as well? No, I still reacted in the moment and spoke without thinking at times but not as often and many times I would go back after the fact and correct that by adding those encouraging words as well. Words are powerful and will always leave of a mark of some kind. It's important for us as parents to understand this and to be thoughtful and purposeful in the words we choose to use with our children. Using honey instead of vinegar always attracts more flies or in this case better results in correction and discipline.
I hope these thoughts are helpful and encouraging for you and also a good resource I would like to recommend is The 5 Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.